Judging by Appearances Can Be Dangerous: A Story of Hidden Struggles and Courage
Sometimes the worst confrontations start in the most ordinary places. You think you’re just going to the store, minding your own business, and suddenly someone decides they know your life story better than you do. That’s exactly what happened to me recently—and it’s a reminder that appearances can be dangerously deceiving.
It’s shocking how quickly people form opinions without knowing someone’s history. This story is about a woman who had already endured a life-altering event and still had to face a stranger who assumed he understood her life just by glancing at her.
Incidents like this happen all the time to people with hidden or less obvious disabilities. Many assume that youth equals perfect health, or that if they can’t see an injury, it must not exist. I was tired of being judged this way, so I decided to confront it head-on.
A Life Changed Forever
I’m 21, and about three years ago I was in a severe car accident. A drunk driver ran a stoplight, collided with a semi, and my car was thrown into two other vehicles before hitting an embankment. The crash destroyed my leg, which had to be amputated, and I also lost the tips of a few fingers. My scars are significant, and while they used to bother me, I’m learning to accept them.
With insurance and settlements for pain and suffering, I bought a custom prosthetic leg that blends in with clothing and shoes. Most people wouldn’t notice unless they looked closely. I still limp, though some days it’s less noticeable.
Earlier today, I went shopping with my boyfriend, my sister, her girlfriend, and our mother. I drove, having mastered operating a car with my left foot, and we recently bought a new car. I’ve also gone through extensive therapy to manage PTSD and physical pain from the accident.
My injuries, which include chronic hip, neck, and back pain, as well as lung issues from a medically induced coma, mean I have a handicap placard. It helps me park close to the door since walking long distances tires me out.
The Confrontation
I pulled into a handicap spot, not realizing a man had been looking for it. He was still circling the lot when I arrived, so I neither blocked nor cut him off. When he saw I’d taken the spot, he parked illegally in the striped area and immediately began berating me. He claimed I was just a young person pretending to be sick and demanded I move.
My family urged me to ignore him, but I’ve dealt with similar situations before—even once involving the police. Tired of being judged, I told him, “Okay,” and went to the car. While seated, I removed my prosthetic leg and showed him the stump, asking if it was still okay for me to keep the spot.
He recoiled, calling me “disgusting” and “rude,” and stormed off, saying I could have just explained myself. My friends and family were embarrassed by the crowd, but I felt both proud and vindicated. It was a small moment of justice against a stranger’s assumption.
A Personal Touch
For context, I don’t post pictures for identification reasons, but my prosthetic leg is artistic—ombre white-green with cherry blossoms. On some days, I cover it with a silicone sleeve that mimics a real leg and foot, complete with temporary “toenails” if I want to avoid attention. It’s functional and creative, and it’s become a part of my identity.
Conclusion
This story is a reminder that you can’t judge someone’s life or health by appearances. Hidden struggles are real, and sometimes people must stand their ground to teach others that assumptions and judgments have consequences. In a world quick to criticize, honesty and courage are powerful ways to reclaim respect.